MoMusings

In cyber-space no one can hear you click…..but just like the old adage that goes something like this; “a butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil and a storm hits China”….small things can tip the balance, one careless user clicking without thinking on a suspicious attachment can bring a companies network to its knees and/or start a chain reaction that fires off umpteen-thousand infected e-mails to potential budding click-a-holics.

Picture it if you will, a class-room in cyber-space, a circle of uncomfortable orange plastic chairs, at least three sizes too small for their occupants; knees up around their chins, all uncomfortable and not just because of the chairs on which they are squatting on…The smell of cabbage cooked to within a nano-metre of its life pervades the air, as welcome as a pitbull in a cattery and causing as much offence…A man stands up, fidgeting, looking very scared and unsure of himself….

“My name is John…and I’m a click-a-holic”

The rest of the group respond with the customary pack response “Welcome, John”

John stammers, as all eyes turn and fix on him; like vampires sensing a new ‘virgin’ meal. A hungry, needful, almost manic expression on the faces of the assembled throng…He gulps, swallowing his fear and shame; he is among equals here…..nothing to fear. He begins to tell his story…

“It all started when I got a computer with Windows on it…..I had Outlook Express for reading and writing e-mail and I could click on everything…..that’s when I started to get addicted…..Then I found I would click on anything, no matter how silly or unexpected, I just had to click…..but things started to go wrong, I….er….got, you know…..’infected’. He blushes and looks as awkward and self-aware as a teenager caught reading a top shelf magazine by his Granny.

“I felt violated, but I couldn’t stop myself. I got infected lots of times over the next few years, that’s when it dawned on me that I must be a Click-a-holic…..so, I came here, to seek help and support….”

It may be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but it does seem that there are a sizeable number of computer users out there in cyber-space that just have to click (or double-click, or double-click and type in a password, then double-click again!) it does almost seem to be some form of addiction.

You would have thought that by now most of the denizens of cyber-space (especially Windows users) would have learnt the lessons, and kicked the habit, what with this years flood of Netsky, MyDoom and Bagle variants. Further back in time, we had Melissa, SoBig, Badtrans, Sircam, and the so-called ‘I-Love-You’ virus which arrived in your inbox addressed from someone you knew, informing you that they ‘Loved-You’, so of course everyone was so starved of love and attention that many opened the e-mail and in some cases ran the attachment too.

This addiction was highlighted again only last week when the new Sober mass-mailing worm variant was found, so many people launched (clicked or double-clicked) on the attachment that within a few days it had stolen the crown from Netsky.P as the current most prevalent mass-mailer.

Maybe there is a need for a ‘real’ Click-a-holics Anonymous…..you never know it just might work